Lowe's dessicated iris on left, Lowe's dead iris in center, healthy Greengarden.com iris right

As I wrote in my last post, one out of the nine bearded iris rhizomes that I just purchased at Lowes Home Improvement nursery center was dead. Departed. Deceased. Rotten to its mushy core. I give you Exhibit A in the photo above. Compare the brown, rotted rhizome in the center to the robust, healthy rhizome on the right from Greenwood Garden in Somis, CA, or even the dessicated but alive Lowes rhizome on the left. The difference is clear.

Exchange of the rotten rhizome for one even as dessicated as the one on the left was all I wanted. I was not distressed that I received a bad bulb. I was not upset. I was not angry. I just wanted a replacement. One that had a chance of surviving. And if that exchange had been accomplished pleasantly or even neutrally, you would have heard no more of the matter. But alas, pleasant is not the experience I had.

I went to the Return Desk, where the job of the people working there is to accept returns. I showed the girl–and it was a young person–the rotted tuber and asked pleasantly to be allowed to exchange it. You would have thought that I’d smeared it upon her personage, or interrupted a personal phone call, or called her away from gossiping to, GASP, actually work.

She scowled and asked how long it had been since I bought it, like it was my fault that it was decrepit. It had been about a week. The fault was not mine.

The rhizome was packaged in a plastic bag with potting soil instead of in a net bag with good circulation. I mean, that kind of packaging was just asking for spoilage. The poor thing was being precomposted. But I didn’t mention that. I just wanted my friggin’ money back so I could get another one of their irises, only this time I wanted a live one.

It took her forever to do whatever it was she had to do, including talking to the manager about the issue. Jeez! It’s dead! Take it back! And she scowled the whole time.

Ahem, customer service means that you provide service to the customer. Is it really all that hard a concept? If a product is obviously spoiled and therefore defective, and your company’s name is right there on the package, you replace the product, no questions asked.

I got no apology for the product being defective. I got no expression of concern from her about the time (and gasoline) it took to drive back to the store to exchange it, or the amount of time it took her to figure out how to do her job. I received no expression of regret over my negative experience. Actually, I wasn’t upset until I tried to exchange the iris. Finally she counted out my money: $4.33.

Things were better in the nursery department, when I relayed my experience at the Returns Desk as I was buying a new iris (and a beautiful poinsettia). The sales staff there sees me often enough that I’m a familiar face. I got the apology and the expression of concern that I had expected.

The problem isn’t Lowes. It was that one clerk at the Returns Desk. With so many people out of work, is she the best Lowes could do? I’m just saying.

(To read more of Lou Murray’s environmental writing, see her weekly column, Natural Perspectives, in the Huntington Beach Independent at www.hbindependent.com/blogs_and_columns/)